| 19 November 2010
The past few weeks have been some trying times for Nate McMillan.
It started by losing his long time friend and former Portland Trail Blazers assistant coach Maurice Lucas, while also grappling with on-court realities of an ailing Brandon Roy and his health concerns. And on an emotional Wednesday night at the Rose Garden, McMillan and the Blazers were dealt another blow after learning Greg Oden will miss the rest of the season with another microfracture surgery looming Friday.
These are the days where McMillan waits for his phone to ring.
He needs the encouragement and timely words. He does more listening than talking.
In the business of basketball, head coaches are flanked by their coaching staffs who are ready and willing to help in times of need with "X's and O's". Other coaches around the league equally become a sounding board. But what about those times when a head coach needs more than the ear of other coaches?
Where does McMillan turn for mentoring or a mentor outside of basketball, especially the times when the baggage of life gets too heavy to carry?
"Many people - my wife, my son. He (Jamelle McMillan, who plays basketball at Arizona State) watches every game and gives me feedback," McMillan confessed.
"There's just many people who lend support, guys like Rich (Cho) and Larry Miller. But the people who are most consistent are my family. My brother - I talk to my brother a lot."
The brotherly love for Randy McMillan is unwavering. And the feeling is mutual.
Growing up in Raleigh, North Carolina, Jeanette McMillan worked two jobs, so Randy (who is four years older than Nate) took care of Nate since they were kids. They grew up not knowing or ever meeting their father, Williams Harris. Instead, Randy became a father figure of sorts. Through the years, no one has been more involved in Nate McMillan's life than Randy McMillan, and when things just aren't clicking for the Blazers or their head coach, Nate knows a phone call from big brother isn't too far behind.
"Normally he'll call me and say, 'I saw this' or 'hey, are you doing okay?'. There are even times when he'll tell me I don't look very good and ask if I'm doing alright. And then he also lets me know I'm going to be okay and the team is going to be okay. That has been the support system and there are a few people who do that a lot. He is one of them."
At 6-foot-8, Randy played basketball too and received scholarships from North Greenville Junior College and North Carolina-Wilmington, before marrying and going in to business for himself owning a retirement home and previously serving as an assistant basketball coach at North Carolina Central.
A big brother. A father figure. Always a mentor. Randy helped guide Nate in life, even when it came to the younger McMillan receiving a scholarship to play at North Carolina State for famed head coach, Jim Valvano. In fact, Randy was the one who sat in Valvano's office with Nate and discussed the offer with Valvano before agreeing it was the best move for his younger brother.
During Nate McMillan's NBA journey, obstacles have certainly surfaced throughout life - the passing of Jim Valvano in 1993, McMillan losing his own mother in 2005, George Karl's on-going battle with cancer, and most recently losing "Luke".
Those experiences are difficult enough to process without even considering the trials McMillan has faced piecing together an injury riddled roster the last three seasons in Portland.
Those steps along the way, the phone calls have come and McMillan has relied on his family to get him through another day, another week or month, and even another game.
They just have to be careful when they call.
"Normally after a loss is not a good time to call or talk to me," said McMillan.
Thursday night was obviously a good night to talk. Portland beat Denver, 86-83, at the Rose Garden. And a win - as small as it may seem in the big picture - keeps McMillan moving forward instead of feeling the need to look behind.
"When we win though, my wife is happy," started McMillan, who couldn't help but laugh.
"She knows we are going to go out to dinner and I'm going to be in a good mood."
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